


– sun surrendered

by Anonymous



Category: Gaya Sa Pelikula (Web Series), Ian Pangilinan - Fandom, KM0PromptFest2021, Pangpang – Fandom, Paolo Pangilinan - Fandom
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-20
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-17 01:10:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29584950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: "I'm really sorry, Pao.""Shh, wala namang may kasalanan. Nagmahal lang naman tayo."
Relationships: Ian Pangilinan/Paolo Pangilinan
Comments: 6
Kudos: 39
Collections: Kilometer Zero: A GSP Prompt Fest 2021





	– sun surrendered

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: This story is a work of fiction and the author has no intentions to imply that the event/s and interest/s stated in the story happened in real life.
> 
> Bubog!AU wherein Paolo and Ian are in the brink of their 5-year relationship. On the eve of their breakup, Paolo picks up his things from Ian's apartment and agreed to share one last dance with him for closure—or to seek fragments of a love lost, subconsciously hoping to piece them together one last time.

_"I'm really sorry, Pao."_

_"Shh, wala namang may kasalanan. Nagmahal lang naman tayo." He wiped the younger's tears. "And we both know this is part of loving someone."_

_"You're the best thing that ever happened to me, Ian. Thank you," He smiled, eyes getting watery from the tears that wanted to fall the moment they started dancing. "For loving and accepting me for who I am."_

_"You'll always be my sun." It was almost a whisper, but the feelings were genuinely felt._

_"Someday, you'll find your moon that's going to replace me as your sun. I know you've always loved the moon."_

_A tear fell, but the smile remained._

_"But no one can beat the way you shine, Pao. You always shine the brightest."_

_"We'll be okay, Ian. You and I will be okay."_

\----

“Ready to watch the sunset?” I asked him after successfully buckling our seatbelts.

“Kanina mo pa ako tinatanong, alam mo naman na ang sagot.” Paolo rolled his eyes playfully before laughing which also made me laugh. “Go na Mr. Driver, we have to be there before the sun sets!”

 _Hay_ , this cutie.

“How's your finals going nga pala?” 

I didn't even have to ask him about it for I already know that he has been dreadfully dealing with it for the past few weeks. That is why despite of our hectic graduating schedule, I asked him if we could have a trip to the beach and catch our favorite part of the day, the sunset. Just in time for our 4th anniversary.

“Can we not talk about it, please.” And just like that, he started to whine like a 3-year old kid who failed to get his candy. "I'm feeling grrr sa isang prof namin, though. I know naman na mahirap talaga 'yung exams pero grabe naman kasi siya. Akala mong regalo ng Diyos sa sangkatauhan!" His expression was so cute that I can't help but laugh out of amusement. "Walang nakakatawa hoy!"

"You're so cute when you whine kasi. You look like a baby," My eyes turned to Paolo as we stopped by the traffic signal. "My baby." I winked at him and laughed after seeing how his cheeks turned redder than the traffic light.

"Parang sira. Mag-drive ka na nga lang diyan." 

God, I'm so _in love_ with this person.

"Ang ganda talaga 'no?" He stared at the serene view in front of us while I can't take my eyes off him. 

The orange skies reflecting on his eyes while we're nonchalantly sitting by the bay just made his beauty more visible. They're right, he's too beautiful not to look at. And the sun will definitely envy the way Paolo shines.

"Yeah, sobra." I smiled while letting myself indulge into the mystique view beside me.

"Pao," He looked back at me smiling and _God_ , I think my heart dropped. "I love you."

"I know." My heart was so happy that I pulled him close to me and gave him a hug. "Mahal kita. Sobra." He gave me the sweetest smile that I will never get tired of looking. The same smile that I promised myself years ago not to make it fade away from his face.

"Do you want to dance? There's this song na I really want to dance with kasama ka, eh." 

"You'll sing?" He chuckled.

"Duh?" I playfully rolled my eyes before standing up, pulling him with me. 

_ ( A/N: The song is entitled 'I Wanna Write You A Song' by One Direction! ) _

  
_I want to lend you my coat,_

  
"You already did diba? Noong nagpunta tayong Baguio? Feeling nasa Germany." He laughed heartily and I gladly joined him. 

"Shh ka nga, so ingay." 

  
_One that's as soft as your cheek_

We swayed to the rhythm of the waves while I sing.

  
_So when the world is cold_   
_You'll have a hiding place you can go_   
_I want to lend you my coat_

  
"Ang sweet naman no'n." He leaned his head closer to mine which automatically brought a smile to my face.

  
_Everything I need I get from you_   
_Givin' back is all I wanna do_

  
That's what I want to do. Paolo is one of the people who believed in me when I was doubting myself. And despite of him being busy with his own stuff, he would still push me to strive harder for my dreams. _Our dreams_

  
And now, I can't imagine my life _without_ him.

  
_I want to build you a boat_

"Boat talaga?" He looked at me wide eyed before I returned it with a slightly annoyed one.

"Paopao you're so ingay ha. Shut your mouth muna nga."

"Make me?" That sounded more of a question than a blunt statement.

"Ah, you're challenging me?" I leaned closer and that caught him off guard. I smirked.

"No! No! Tuloy mo na your singing." But I did the opposite. I leaned closer to give him a quick smack on his lips. "Hoy!"

"Okay, I'll continue na." And giggles were heard along with the continuous sound of the waves meeting the sand.

  
 _One that's strong as you are free_  
 _So any time you think that your heart is gonna sink,_  
 _You know it won't_

  
"Soft hours?" It's kind of unfair how I can easily forget everything every time he smiles.

Our dance ended as the sun was replaced by the moon, just like our worries being replaced by happiness that we both can only find with each other. 

  
Or at least, _t_ _hat's what I thought._

  
Time became our biggest enemy the moment we graduated college and found jobs. I am sure of it. It became the reason for our fights that occurred frequently than before, and the reason why we started drifting away... from each other.

"Pao, are you okay? Kanina ka pa quiet d’yan.”

I asked the moment we entered our shared apartment. I couldn’t sense the reason why my boyfriend has been acting odd since we left the restaurant we dined in with our friends from high school.

“Pagod lang.” He managed to give me a tired smile which I returned with a warm one before going closer to give him a hug. 

"I'm sorry you had to go with me pa." He came straight from work and that's probably the reason why he's tired. 

"It's fine. I wanted to see them din naman." 

“You go shower first so you can rest na.” I kissed his neck before letting him go. “Mabango pa rin.” He laughed which made me feel relieved. 

_At least._

Paolo and I became even busier as the days passed. Until days turned into weeks and weeks into months. We got too overwhelmed to even think about each other and to even remember that we used to be each other's inspiration.

"Tamang tama ang dating mo. Let's eat na after you change clothes. I cooked!" He welcomed me enthusiastically.

"I am too tired to eat na e'. But thank you. I'll eat it tomorrow." I smiled before heading to our bedroom. 

It became our daily routine. And as the days passed by, we just became more busy. To the extent where we just get the chance to see each other every night. 

"Why are you still up, Pao?" I asked him after arriving late from work. "Late na, ah?"

He answered me with a cold stare.

"May pagkain sa fridge, init mo nalang. Magpapahinga na ako." And then, he left.

I opened our fridge to look for the food he was pertaining to earlier but I was greeted by a box of our favorite cake. And then it hit me. 

It's the 4th of December, _our 5th anniversary_. 

"Pao... I'm sorry." I tried to follow him inside the bedroom but he turned his back at me. "Sobrang dami ko lang talagang iniisip. I'm really sorry, love." 

"Okay lang, naiintindihan ko. Magpahinga ka na." 

_Sigh._

He have always been this understanding and patient. That's a few of the things I admired about him, that I unconsciously used to take him for granted.

**_From: Paopao_ **

_Kila Mama muna ako uuwi. I already cooked breakfast so make sure to eat bago pumasok._

"We're okay. I know we are." I tried to convince myself. 

**_To: Paopao_ **

_Work na, love. How are you?_

**_To: Paopao_ **

_Going out for lunch with the whole department. Don't skip your lunch! Love you!_

**_To: Paopao_ **

_Are you coming home tonight?_

**_To: Paopao_ **

_I love you._

I've been texting him for three straight days even if I get nothing in return. I had to give him space, but what can I do? It's like I'm not home when he's not around.

My eyes shifted from the screen of my phone towards the door. He's back. 

My Paopao is back!

"Love!" I welcomed him with a hug. "I'm so glad you're back."

"Ian," He gave me a smile after letting go of the hug. A tired smile. "Can we talk?" 

I think my heart skipped a beat. 

"Oo naman." I gave him an assuring smile. "Let's sit muna." 

I could feel the tension rising. I don't even know why!

"Nakapagisip-isip ako while I was away." He sighed, and I nervously listened intently. "And I think it would be better if itigil na lang natin 'to." 

"Hey, is there something wrong? Did I do something? Why... Why are you saying this?" I faced him, my eyes getting teary.

I couldn't believe my ears, was this the reason why he became distant? To think whether we should continue our relationship or not? 

"Pagod na 'ko." He looked down, I could sense the tiredness from his voice.

My heart clenched just by seeing and hearing him admit that he's tired, tired of our relationship. 

_How could he give up so easily?_

"W-what happened? We used to work things out naman before 'di ba? I'm sure we can ulit thi-" 

"Ano ba sa mga salitang sinabi ko ang hindi mo naintindihan?" 

He looked at me, and that was the first time I saw him looking _devastated_ as ever.

"Hindi ko kasi maintindihan kung bakit.. And how you could give us up so easily?" 

It was my turn to look down. I couldn't look at him straight in the eyes for I know I wouldn't be able to say a single word if I did.

"Sa tingin mo ba madali lang sa'kin 'to?" His voice raised a bit. "Sa limang taon na pinagsamahan natin, sa tingin mo madali lang sa akin na gawin 'to?" Tears streamed down his face. "I tried to understand everything as much as I can, pero sa kakaintindi, napagod na ako." 

"Na sa sobrang pag-intindi ko, nauubos na 'yung sarili ko." He's crying.. The person I love is crying. "I'm sorry if it sounds like I'm not considering your feelings.. I'm really really sorry pero ayoko na.." 

"I know we used to work things out together, but Ian, if we continue this.. We'll lose each other just like how we're slowly drifting apart."

He has a point. I'm trying my best to understand everything that comes out of his mouth even if every word feels like a dagger piercing through my heart. 

"Is this... Is this what you really want, Pao?" I seriously don't know where I got the braveness to speak despite of the mixed emotions I'm feeling right at that moment. 

"Yes, Ian." 

I sighed heavily. 

"Will you be happy if we end it here?" I asked him, because I know It would take a while for me if it happens. 

"I can't guarantee that, but I'll be okay. Someday. And I know you will be, too." 

I didn't want to do this. But it hurts seeing him crying while waiting for me to end our relationship here.

"I'm.. I'm... I can't," And the tears streamed down my face. "Let's fix this, please?" 

"I'm breaking up with you." I froze on my spot when those words left his mouth. "I am breaking up with you, Ian. That's one of the reasons why I came here." 

"Paolo naman..." 

"Ian, please."

_Tang ina_. He's begging me to let him go. To... _let him go_.

"Okay. If this would make you happy..." His happiness matters the most. And I've come to a decision to give what will make him happy, even if it cost me losing him. "Let's break up, Paolo." 

He nodded and silence slowly filled the room. But I can also hear my heart breaking into pieces loud and clear.

"But can I ask you.. one last request, please?" 

He wiped the tears away from his face and nodded.

"Can we dance to our song? For the last time?" My voice cracked.

_It was too hard for me to ask him such request._

I played our song, which surprised me that I was still able to see it through the tears streaming from my eyes. 

_Something about_   
_The way you move_   
_Softened these eyes_   
_And cracked the walls that hid my truth_

"May I have this dance, Paopao?" I offered him my hand after standing up.

He nodded after wiping his tears again. 

_And I don't know how_

"One last dance." And he took my hand. 

_Your fine mystery_   
_Knew all my doubts_   
_And what to say to set me free_

"Would you answer me if I ask you what are the other reasons?" My heart was being crushed as we sway to the rhythm of the song. 

_Inevitable_   
_Even if I tried to fight it_

"To get my things." 

_No one ever crashed their tide in me_   
_This hard_

I was kind of hoping for him to say something else, but I lost the right to get disappointed.

_Inevitable_   
_We don't have to chase the feeling_

"And to see you, Ian." 

_Just let these moments happen_   
_And let go_

That's where the tears began to pool under my eyes again. 

_Then we'll know_   
_Then we'll know_

"But I'm really sorry, Pao." 

_Closer we flow_   
_A day at a time_

"Shh, wala namang may kasalanan. Nagmahal lang naman tayo." He wiped my tears away and I held his hand on my face. "And we both know this is part of loving someone."

_But if you should leave_   
_Be on your way, I might be fine_

"You're the best thing that ever happened to me, Ian. Thank you," 

_Inevitable_

_Even if I tried to fight it_

He smiled, eyes getting watery from the tears that I knew wanted to fall the moment we started dancing. 

_No one ever crashed their tide in me_   
_This hard_

"For loving and accepting me for who I am."

You too, Pao. Thank you.

_Inevitable_   
_We don't have to chase the feeling_

"You'll always be my sun." It was almost a whisper, but I know the feelings were genuinely felt.

_Just let these moments happen_

"Someday, you'll find your moon that's going to replace me as your sun. I know you've always loved the moon." A tear fell from his eye but the smile remained probably remembering the times I told him how beautiful the moon is every time we go and see the sunset. 

"But no one can beat the way you shine, Pao. You'll always shine the brightest." He hugged me tightly like he never wants to let me go. 

"We'll be okay, Ian. You and I will be okay."

_And let go_

  
But he _did._ And that night, my _sun surrendered._

**Author's Note:**

> AAAAAAA I can't believe na naigapang ko 'to ; n ;
> 
> J, I know how tito you are when it comes to things this but thank you for supporting me all throughout the writing process lalo na noong naisipan kong tumigil dahil sobrang daming ganap sksjdjskkd I love you, sobra. And to B, sana natuwa ka kahit papaano and thank you, for being there. Eme. Pero I love you, alam mo 'yan.
> 
> To the prompter, I hope I was able to give justice to your prompt! >////<
> 
> To you, who's reading this, may you all find your own sun and moon someday. 
> 
> ++++ Pag-ibig para sa lahat! <3


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